The two methods that I use in my practice are Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Havening®

They work in slightly different ways, but they are both incredibly effective at changing:

  • Negative emotions
  • Subconscious beliefs
  • Unpleasant or traumatic memories

As many issues are caused by at least one of the above, the techniques are incredibly useful for helping with a wide variety of problems.

The even better news is that once people learn how to use the techniques, they can use them to help themselves in between sessions.


So, how can they be used to help people to cope when they are going through a divorce?


Let me just explain the basics of people’s psychology first……..

Everyone has a subconscious mind and that is the part of their mind that contains the thousands of beliefs that they have acquired throughout their lives. These beliefs create their feelings and determine their behaviour.

For someone to change their feelings, the way that they perceive others, the way that they react to others and their behaviour, they first need to change the beliefs that they have in their subconscious minds.

EFT and Havening are excellent methods for doing this

There is a wide variety of divorce situations. Some people are happy that they are getting divorced, whereas others are devastated. The difference being the beliefs that they have about the ending of the relationship.

Different people feel different emotions, during this time.


Below are just some of the negative emotions that some people may feel at some point during the divorce process:

  • Sadness that the relationship is over
  • Sadness at not having the future that they wanted
  • Worry about how the divorce will impact their children
  • Anger at their ex for how they behaved in the relationship
  • Anger at themselves for tolerating certain behaviours in the relationship
  • Anger at their ex for ending the relationship
  • Anger at their ex for how they are behaving during the divorce process
  • Anger at how their ex is treating their children
  • Shock at the relationship is ending
  • Shock at how different their partner is behaving during the divorce process
  • Feeling powerless to control the situation
  • Frustration at their ex for not behaving well
  • Anger if their ex has a new partner


These methods (EFT and Havening®) can also change beliefs that are making the divorce process more painful, such as:

  • I can’t cope on my own
  • I will never find love again
  • I hate my ex
  • I can’t stop contacting my ex
  • I’ll never get over this
  • I have failed
  • My ex keeps letting the children down
  • My ex is a XXX!!
  • I don’t want my ex to see our children because…….(insert reason)


These two methods can also help to heal any unpleasant or traumatic childhood memories that are being triggered by this process or any unpleasant events that people experience during the divorce process.

I have described just a few of the feelings and beliefs that can cause upset during this time, but there are many others.

The good news is that EFT and havening® can usually help with most, if not all of them, so that people can navigate the divorce process more easily.

More good news is that once someone learns how to use EFT and Havening®, they can use it with their children, to help them to cope with the divorce process more easily.

If you need help to navigate the divorce process, email me at

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