The people that you choose to spend time with will have a serious effect on your happiness levels and this is why it’s important to have a look at those around you to see what type of effect they are having on you.
I’ve always believed that there are two main types of people (this is a simplistic way of viewing it as I think that most people fall somewhere in-between the two types).
The two types are:
These are people that drain you of energy. They are people that constantly moan or criticize others (including you). They are people that have a negative view of the world and their presence has a negative impact on you. You can tell when you are with a “drain” because of the way that you feel when you are with them or when you leave them. You feel heavy and drained. These are people that you often make excuses for in your head because you have to justify to yourself why you spend time with them as deep down you know they aren’t good for you.
These are positive people who you enjoy spending time with. They are upbeat and positive. They support you when you need it and you feel good about yourself and life when they are around. When you leave their company you have a spring in your step.
So, do you want to feel happier in life?
If you do, then focus on finding as many “radiators” as you can and spend as much time with them as possible. Then spend a bit of time identifying the “drains” in your life and find a way to either stop spending time with them altogether or limit the amount of time that you spend with them.
Why is it important that you are choosy about who you spend your time with?
The people that we spend the most time with can either seriously enhance or seriously harm our happiness levels. We have the right to choose who we spend our time with. Many argue that they have to spend time with certain people but this is not necessarily the case……..
I would argue that there are only a limited number of situations where you are physically forced to see people i.e. work (but then you could choose to work somewhere else if you wanted to). When people spend time with people that they find draining it is often because they have a fixed belief, such as “I have to or I must spend time with X”, when in actual fact they have a certain level of choice but due to fear of disapproval or fear of social repercussions/discomfort, they choose to continue to spend time with them.
If you feel that you “must” spend time with someone who drains you then start thinking about how you could limit the time that you spend with them. Remember that you have the right to choose what you do with your time and who you spend it with.
Here are a few benefits to ensuring that you only have positive people in your life i.e. radiators.
- Less drama
- More energy as they don’t weigh you down with moaning & negativity
- Their positive view of the world rubs off on you and you start to look at the positives in life which make you happier
- As you are more positive you will probably be more popular, which is a good ego boost as people want to spend time with positive people
- They have a can do attitude so will want to do things in life. They will also encourage you to do things too. Taking action is the way to achieve things in life, which leads to a sense of achievement and increased happiness
- They will have the mental capacity to support you rather than expect you to support them all of the time, as they don’t really have any issues because they deal with them themselves
- They make life more pleasurable as they are fun to be around
Take a little time right now to answer the two questions below:
- Who is your life is a radiator?
- Who is your life is a drain?
How can you spend more time with the radiators? What steps can you take to reduce the amount of time that you spend with any drains?
I hope this helps.
Until next time…..
P.s. If you need help to work out how to get more radiators in your life and find a way of distancing yourself from the drains, book a session with me via firstname.lastname@example.org