There are many types of exes, but here are descriptions of the worst five:
1) The Cold Ex
This is the ex that breaks up with you and then completely ignores you and never communicates with you again. This is the ex that doesn’t seem to be bothered about the breakup at all. This type of ex can be the most shocking, as you go from seeing them all the time to not having any contact at all. This is quite a change and can really hurt. You may start to question how they can go from being with you one minute to being so cold the next. You may question the sincerity of their behaviour when they were with you.
2) The Traditional Boomerang Ex
This is the ex that wants to have you in their lives………on their terms. They make an effort with you for a while and then exit your life. They then continue to come back and forth into your life. They don’t want a committed relationship with you but they want the benefits of knowing you. They pop back into your life when they want something from you. This could be an ego boost, money, affection, sex, security (i.e. knowing you are still available to them). These types of exes often return to your life when you start to date other men.
If this type of situation works for you and you benefit equally too, then feel free to carry on.
However, if you want to rekindle the relationship and he doesn’t then this will not work for you as you will constantly interpret their return as a positive sign that they want you back, when in fact they have returned because they want to enjoy the benefits of knowing you and will then leave again once they are satisfied. This type of ex will really confuse you and cause you some serious distress, as their behavior is so hot and cold. These types of exes will always say “but I didn’t saythat I wanted to start the relationship again”, even though some of their behaviours indicate otherwise i.e. they act like a boyfriend on some occasions but not others. In this case, don’t have a rose tinted view of them returning to your life. Remind yourself that they just want the benefits you give them. Pay attention to when they say that they don’t want a relationship and the fact that they always move away from you at some point.
3) The Sexual Boomerang Ex
This is a specific type of the Traditional Boomerang. This is the ex that just wants to use you for sex at their convenience. They don’t want a relationship with you. They just want comfortable, familiar sex. They downgrade you from a partner to a convenient fling. The sexual boomerang ex is someone who comes back for sex but then moves away afterwards as they don’t want to be accused of leading you on, by spending too much time with you. If you don’t want a relationship with them and are ok with this arrangement then that’s fine but if you want to rekindle the relationship and he doesn’t, then this situation won’t work for you. This type of man will try to convince you that this is a good arrangement for the pair of you, whilst telling you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. This arrangement often works for a man but not usually as well for a woman because women often get more emotionally attached during sex. What this ex doesn’t realise (or maybe he does and doesn’t care) is that they are giving you the impression through their actions (sex) that they like you. This can give you hope that they want to rekindle the relationship (if this is what you want), which isn’t fair.
Please be aware that this type of ex will often try to find another woman that he wants, at the same time. When they find someone, it is likely that they will stop seeing you. This can lead to you feeling used and rejected.
4) The Angry/Abusive Ex
This is the ex that is still annoyed at you for something. He may be angry because of what happened in the relationship or what has happened since. He is angry because you haven’t met an expectation that he had. Alternatively he may be an abusive man who wants to control you or abuse you because of issues that he has. Either way this is a man who behaves aggressively towards you.
5) The Manipulative Ex
A manipulative ex is someone who will say or do things with the sole intention to get you to do what they want. Here are some things a manipulative ex may want you to do:
- Remain single
- Give him an ego boost by giving him time and attention
- Have sex with them without commitment from him
- Take the sole blame for what has happened
Here are some of the strategies that a manipulative ex will use:
- Will ignore you
- Will try to turn others against you
- Will behave aggressively towards you
- Will try to get you to doubt yourself
- Will tell you that you are wrong
- Will tell you that you are to blame (whilst taking no responsibility for their part)
What do you think of these exes? Are there exes that are worse than these five? Let me know in the comments below:
I hope this blog has helped
Until next time – Take care
Emma
If you are finding it difficult to get over an ex? I can help you get over them during one of my brain pick sessions. Contact me at emma@themindmermaid.com for details.
Alternatively you could use my Breakup Recovery Toolkit to help you to get over an ex and move onto a happier future.
* Please be aware that this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be perceived as professional advice. I cannot guarantee results or be held accountable for dating outcomes based on the content of these blog posts. You use this information at your own risk. If you need assistance with your individual situation, please consult a professional.