Many of us fear giving up things/behaviours or losing things.
This is because it makes us feel that we are missing out, being deprived or lacking something and this makes us unhappy.
However, the good news is that there is something that we can do to help ourselves to feel happier in these situations. This is because we are in control of our thoughts and what we say to ourselves. We have the power to change the way we view a situation and this in turn, can change the way that we feel about it.
It is possible to turn a negative feeling into a positive one, within 60 seconds, just by changing our perspective.
How do we do this? We do this by training ourselves to just focus on the benefits of the situation and instead of the negatives aspects.
Do you want to stop feeling negative about a “loss”?
Here’s two things that you can do to feel a bit better about a “loss” in your life……….
1) Identify what you gain as a result of the “loss”
2) Identify what you are now free from as a result of the “loss”
Let me give you a few examples to help you to do this yourself:
1) Giving up smoking. Smokers believe that they are losing out if they give up smoking but if you are a smoker who wants to stop smoking, another way to view it is that you will…….
- Gain more energy
- Be free from the smell of smoke
- Gain more money
- Be free from standing outside in the cold to have a cigarette
- Gain health benefits
2) Losing a partner as a result of a breakup. Yes, it could be viewed as a loss but another way to view your new found singledom……..
- You have gained more time to do what you want to do
- You have gained more freedom
- You are now free from any arguments
- You are now free from any games that were played
- You are now free to find someone who will absolutely adore you
3) Losing a job can be considered to be a loss or it could be viewed as a gain because you…..
- Have gained more time to spend with your friends and family.
- Have gained the opportunity to move on and find another job, which is a better option for you
- Are free from working with people/bosses that you didn’t like
- Are free from the strains of daily work life
4) Going on a diet and losing the option of eating what you want, could be viewed as a loss or it could be viewed as a gain because you…….
- Gain energy
- Are free from feeling guilty about overeating
- Are free from feeling too full
- Are free from feeling embarrassed about your weight
- Gain compliments from people as you lose weight
I’m sure you can see how changing your perspective and focusing on the benefits/gains of a situation can reduce your stress levels to a certain extent.
I firmly believe that every cloud has a silver lining. To be happier in life, focus on finding the lining or even a few linings and ignore the clouds
I hope this helps
Until next time….
Emma x
