If we are to be happy, then it is essential that we have positive beliefs about ourselves. Positive beliefs help us to make good decisions, take positive actions and get along well with others. All of which enhances our lives.

But it all starts with our beliefs about ourselves………..


There are a four things that can help us to have a positive view of ourselves and they fall into two categories: self talk (what you say to yourself) and the questions that you ask yourself.


Here are the four things that can help people to feel good about themselves:

1) Use positive self-talk i.e. say positive things about ourselves to ourselves

2) Stop using negative self-talk i.e. saying negative things about ourselves to ourselves

3) Ask positive questions i.e. what’s good about me?

4) Stop asking ourselves negative questions about ourselves i.e. what’s wrong with me


If you want to improve your life and become happier, you should always monitor the self talk that you use and the questions that you ask yourself as they can seriously affect your happiness levels.

The good news is that you are in control of what you say to yourself and you can also choose the questions that you ask. So when people say happiness is in your hands, they are correct


Self-talk is the statements that you make about yourself such as:

  • I am a nice person
  • I can handle this situation
  • People generally like me
  • I am really lazy
  • I’ll never be successful
  • I’m really boring


You will see here examples of both positive self talk and negative self talk. It is essential for happiness levels that you only use positive self talk and avoid negative self talk.

The questions that you ask yourself are also important. Every question that you ask yourself will instruct the mind to find an answer. A positive question is where you are asking your mind to find a positive, uplifting answer, whereas a negative question is where you are asking your mind to find a negative answer which will reduce your happiness levels


Here are a couple of examples of both positive & negative questions

Positive questions:

  • What is great about me?
  • What skills do I have that have led to my success?
  • What is it about me that people like?

Negative questions:

  • What is wrong with me?
  • Why can’t I ever get anything right?
  • Why don’t people like me?


We often chatter away to ourselves frequently throughout the day. Most of these are automatic thoughts that you can’t stop. However, we are in control of what we say to ourselves after we have produced an automatic thought. It just requires a little training & control. Even if we produce automatic negative statements we can counteract the negative statement/question by using positive self talk or choosing to ask ourselves positive questions after the negative statement/question

The more we use positive statements & positive questions the happier we will be.

Are you ready to start changing the way you speak to yourself?

What will you start doing from today, to make yourself feel better about yourself?

I hope this helps

Until next time

Emma x


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